Thursday, March 22, 2007

I don't know how many times now I have actually started a post and never gotten it completely finished and posted for one reason or another! Not that there has been a whole lot going on here worth posting, I mean you can only read so many times about how we went to another basketball game or about me complaining about something about daycare (which you may have to endure later in this post yet) or about how we will have practice for choruses on Sunday blah blah blah. Writers block I guess.
I haven't been in the best of moods either, one of the daycare families was just really irking me. They had started showing up late again, and not just a few minutes, but like a half hour to an hour. And not only after my closing time but Mom would tell me that she would be off at one so don't let the Monster nap. Fine. But when she doesn't show up until two and the Monster is uber cranky and not listening and making it hard for the others to nap is when I start having a problem, and not just once in one week but twice and no phone call to let me know I mean come on. We're talking common courtesy here. And she just walks in and says, oh I ended up working longer, you know how that is. She works at the daycare center where I used to work, so yes, I do understand how unorganized they are up there and how it depends on counts, but is it fair to leave me hanging because of it.
I also started noticing just how far behind Monster is developmentally. I think that there is a hearing problem or something, but Mom refuses to have her tested. The county would test her for free, but nooooo. Maybe this summer. She is preschool age in the fall and do you know how far behind she is going to be by the time she actually gets help? Not only that but I know how cruel kids can really be, and why expose her to that if it's not needed. Why not get her the help and get her caught up now before she is thrown into a school situation and completely overwhelmed? I brought this up in a daycare group I am a member of online and was reprimaned saying that these things are taught and how if I really and truly worked with the parents that I could get her caught up and it wouldn't be a problem and how my considering terming them because of their lateness and refusal to help their child was just silly.
Well, that's all well and good if the parents were willing to open their eyes and find their child some help. Mom's ignoring the problem is not helping me any. I can only do so much here, and if I have the baby for a full day it is less than normal because he takes alot of my time too, and there are the other 2 two year olds, two 4 year olds, the 3 year old, and the 1 year old who are here depending on the day as well. Just how much time am I to devote to her and ignore the others?!
On top of that there are her behavior issues that I am having a very hard time with. She will take a toy from one of the two year olds or the one year old and then taunt them with it. She sasses back to no end, does not go potty on her own, you have to remind her, and if you don't there is the great possibility that she will just go in her pants. Just this week she stood in the middle of the toy room while cleaning up before lunch screaming at me that she had to go potty and there was no one anywhere near the bathroom and I had to tell her well go then and no she didn't make it and I had to practically dress her because she couldn't even put her pants or underwear on by herself. I had to tell her to take her shoes off to get her wet pants and undies off! Just now I tell her to put the books away the right way, that ALL of the books don't fit in the top basket of the three stacking baskets I have, that she needs to put some in the other baskets and she tries shoving them farther in the top basket and acting like she doesn't understand what I am saying at all. She gives me this blank look when I talk to her and she will NOT look you in the eye if you say look at me when you have her close to you her eyes wander up down and around not focusing on you. I know some of it is just childhood behavior, but I can not handle her anymore. And the parents are doing NOTHING about it. Not even trying to prepare her for school even. I know for a fact, Mom has told me, that Mom and Dad watch their satellite tv downstairs and eat their supper at night (not all, but enough) and they send Monster upstairs to her room to eat her supper and watch her shows on her satellite tv. She had SATELLITE TV IN HER ROOM WHEN SHE WAS 2! Mom says she may be spoiled, but what else was she supposed to do with the extra tv and satellite reciever? I told her honey, I didn't have tv in my room at all until I was married and it's still not satellite!!!!!!
I pulled a skills-concepts checklist for four year olds, the developmental characteristics, from the daycare group I am in and I was amazed at what she could not do. For starters I knew that she couldn't hop on one foot, hold up two fingers, or four fingers to show age or anything. I know her speech is terribly hard to understand, K is always asking me to interpret, and others have come over and had to ask me what she is saying because they can't understand her. But I also found that she can not tell me how a cat and a dog are the same, could only find one way to get across the room, does not know any of the letters in her first name, does not know many letters of the alphabet at all, despite me working on a letter a week and doing different activities with them. She could not even identify any of the letters that we had already done. We have gone through M now. She can not identify words that begin with the same letter or rhyme if I give her three words she can not find the two that rhyme, nor can she think of another word to rhyme with one that I give her. She can not associate a letter with its sound in spoken words, she does not know the functions of body parts, and can not identify expressions of feelings, for every one I gave her she said sick. She told me that we wear boots, coat, and mittens for cold, winter weather as well as hot, summer weather, she can not solve a simple verbal problem using numbers like if you have two pieces of candy and I give you one more, how many will you have?, she does not know the square or diamond shape, and does not have the coordination skills to catch a ball.
On top of all of that she does not have very good social skills at all. She plays with one child, leaving another child out. If the boys look at her cross eyed or try to play a bit rougher like boys do with her she whines to no end but will NOT use her words and say please don't do that. She did not speak a word until well ater her second birthday. Not even the normal babbelings that toddlers have, she was almost absolutely silent.
In one of my daycare families the mother works at a large hospital in the area. She just graduated nursing school and she has three children of her own. She is quite familiar with the developmental checklists and what children at a certain age should be doing. One day this mother came over for a completely different reason and after watching Monster asked me how old she was and when I told her 4 she almost fell off of my couch. She said from a developmental standpoint she would have guessed 2! You can not tell me that there is not something wrong there!
I keep her on because I keep thinking that I can help her, that I know the life she has at home so I need to do something. But as I have been told many times, and have recently been told again, I do not have to be a doormat. Just because I put my foot down does not mean that I am not a good Christian. And from another I am not a trash can with a hairy lid. And from a few others, I don't need this. I just feel so defeated and like I am giving up, but I just can't handle it anymore.
Mom is no peach either. She is always asking things that are none of her business and talking to me through her child, not just speaking to me. If I have something up on my computer screen she will read it, or if there is something on my desk she will read it. She does not discipline either. One incident that sticks out is last winter, Monster was so excited to go out and play in the snow. She was naughty so Mom said no. Just five minutes later as I was thinking ok way to go Mom, she heads out the door and says ok Monster, come on you can play in the snow while Mommy shovels! Gah!
I don't know what to do, I'm just at the end of my rope. I'm sorry for anyone who read all the way through this long winded rant. It is more to help me just vent it all out than anything else and this just seemed the best place to do it. More positive posts coming soon I promise.


hollibobolli said...

I read the whole thing - it was a great way to keep my mind off what's coming this week. So if it helped you vent - it helped occupy my mind.


Heidi said...

You are one brave girl Holli! To make it through all that complaining, I admire you lol!

Erin said...

I love seeing your comments on my blog, knowing you are reading makes my day! I'm not sure why I haven't clicked the link to your blog through the profile in a long time, but I'm glad I did. If a blog isn't a good place to vent about frustrations, where else are ya gonna go?! I'll keep reading now, just to see what happens with this girl. Although, I think you should give her the boot (because of the parents not abiding by the rules). In my most humble opinion. :)

Heidi said...

Thanks Erin! Your comment helped me alot today as well. Dad showed up on Thursday to pick up this girl and said Mom doesn't have to work tomorrow, can she pay you next week? What could I say? This really scares me, a couple years or so ago they ended up oweing me over $400 because it was near Christmas and I was nice and gave them a bit of a break on payments. I really hope this doesn't turn out like that.