Wednesday, August 16, 2006

I have been thinking alot about friends lately. Good friends, bad friends, those that are indifferent....
I was not a popular child, we moved here when I was in third grade and I did not fit in. Number one because I was the new kid, and we all know how everyone feels about the new kid, and number two because my family didn't have alot of money and I was not one of the spoiled little rich kids that my class seemed to be filled with. Now I live in a little town in the midwest so "rich" is a relative term here, but needless to say I did not have the brand name clothes and did not stay up on the latest styles like most of the rest of them. There were a couple of kids who really set out to make my life miserable...including one "forgetting" to bring me back with her after recess, leaving me to wander the building aimlessly until one of the other teachers saw me walk by her room looking lost a few times and left her class to take me back to mine.
I hated going to school, but resigned myself to just getting through it as I loved my teacher and I was the odd child who liked to learn, just hated the environment I had to learn in.
As I grew up I seemed to attract those types of friends that would befriend you as long as they could get something out of you, get you to do something for them, and then when the "fun" wore off or you refused to do whatever for them they were done with you or those who acted all nice and friendly but then ran back to whoever and told them all the "dirt" they found out and used it against you. It wasn't the best situation to be in, but hey, at least I wasn't alone either.
Unfortunately this followed me into my adult life as well. I still seem to be drawn to those who aren't truly friends. Finally I believe that the tide is turning, I have found a couple who I concider to be family more than just friends. Sad to say that it took me until I was almost 30 years old to find true friendship(besides K that is). I have finally found friends who accept me for who I am and if I mess up and biff it, so be it, you forgive and forget and move on, and are still friends. I am so thankful that I have found these friends, they have taught me so much, I feel that I am a better person for meeting them. I wish I could let them know just how much I love them and appreciate their friendship and all that they have done for me and taught me, but when it comes right down to it, I can never find the words to say. I know that they will never, ever see this, but like I said this has been on my mind lately and there will probably be more later, but for now i really don't know what else to say, but I thank God for my new "family"!

1 comment:

holli said...

I'm sorry.. I've had the same problem too. I think when you're a giver, the takers can just smell it. That's why I'm so careful about who I spend my time with anymore.

Just be thankful that you're a giver instead of a taker.. that's something pretty rare these days.