Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Yes, I know, bad girl, bad girl, blogging silence makes you wonder. I was just trying not to be so negative in a time when that was about all I was feeling. But a good friend told me that this should be my place to vent if I need it so be prepared, I am doing better, but I may still need it. Short term, a friend that I met online began to make comments that I didn't find so friendly. Don't get me wrong it was nothing horribly mean or anything like that, but I just found her comments more laden with sarcasm and such rather than the friendly nature of her writing that once drew me to reading her blog and talking to her. Then K's grandfather died and he was gone for four nights to Ohio for the funeral and to help clean out the apartment. Now call me highly co dependant, but this doubled the time that we had spent apart in our nine years of marriage and I was definately having a tough time with the nights and the whole sleeping thing! I now understand completely how you feel Holli! Thinking to myself I must sleep, I have to get up early for the kiddos this morning, I have to go to sleep NOW or I will not make it through the day! Note this did NOT work, only made things worse! Then after he had returned I felt a distance between me and my best friend. I don't know what's up really yet, or if it is just something that I am imagining with all the emotional stuff I am going through right now anyway. We went to see this couple last night and things seemed to be ok....they even suggested going bowling together, as a family so I am really hoping to chalk that one up to my overly emotional self. If any of you know me well you know that I am VERY HIGHLY and at times OVERLY emotional. I can base my mood for the whole day on thinking that someone is mad at me or I have upset them. I HATE ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY HATE letting people down. And I can fall into a terrible mood if I have found that I have disappointed someone.
Anyway, I appreciate the concern of my good friends out there and I am sorry for making you worry about me. Thanks for being there when I needed you. Even if we haven't caught each other to vent, just knowing you are out there and care about me helps more than you know. Big Hugs!

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