So here it is the first of November and the beginning of NaBloPoMo...I still am not sure what I will find to talk about for the entire month, but I do have something to, I guess the right word would be vent, about today.
Last night we had practice for the Worship Team and then a group of us went bowling, we really don't "do" Halloween, but that's a whole other story.....
So, this week I wasn't singing with the Worship Team, we are trying to rotate some and get some new people involved. Great idea, no big deal to me, I enjoy alot of my typing and more "secretarial" stuff just as much or more, I'm just happy to be involved. The problem came when the two ladies who were singing started quietly discussing something between themselves and then started making a few comments to me....I have no problem running up the few stairs to the fellowship hall to the copier to make a few copies, or to run back to the computer at the back of the auditorium to make a change in what will be shown on the screen, or answer the phone, talk to someone who has just come in the door, etc, etc, etc, but these ladies were discussing all this that I was doing. It started out just between them, but then they started asking me how many trips I made back and forth, or there she goes again, look at her go, and discussing between themselves how "strange" it was that I was so submissive, I guess is the word for it, and how whatever PM asked I would just run and take care of. I think one of them may have even used the word obedient or something like that. They made it seem like I was doing something wrong.
Now PM is not the only person I do this for, I do the same for my husband, for CB in Awana, for anyone who needs the help really. I've volunteered to burn pictures that I have taken onto a cd for a friend who would like to make a scrapbook for her kids for Christmas, I've volunteered to help our Awana storekeeper with the graphics for the bags she is having made for the clubbers Christmas gifts, if there is a way I can help, I am glad to do it! I have even burned copies of choir music to cds for choir members for one of these ladies multiple times!
These two ladies made me feel like there was something wrong with what I was doing. They made me feel uncomfortable to know that they were just standing there talking about me quietly right in front of me, and including me in with these little comments occasionally. It bothered me to be made to feel like I was being looked down upon. Honestly, this is why I have a difficult time getting along with other women; this is why two of my three best friends are men. (Ok, so one is my husband, but he still counts, right;))
Aren't we called to be servants as Christians? Is it because I am a woman with this attitude? Why is it so strange to other Christians for me to serve in this way? I'm not being forced to do this, honestly I enjoy it! I like being involved, I like helping/serving, I can't get out alot and go to lunch with people like I would like to, or go to visit, or do nursing home services as much as I would like, I feel that this is one way that I am able to serve God, to use my skills for Him.
Don't get me wrong, I am not treated like a doormat, in fact quite the opposite. In most cases I am told how much my work is appreciated (nice to hear even though it's not needed) and in most cases I am asked if I am able/willing to do whatever it is, not just expected. We all have different skills and abilities and we should all be working together, putting them all to use, for the furtherance of the Gospel, shouldn't we???
I have been reading a book lately and my experience last night and conversations with K about it this morning have gotten me to want to read more now, the book is Men And Women Equal Yet Different A Brief Study of the Biblical Passages on Gender by Alexander Strauch. PM has been teaching from the book of I Timothy lately and the subject of gender differences, feminism, etc has come up and this is one of the books that he recommended, and he let me borrow his copy. I haven't gotten too far yet, but especially now, am ready to really get into it.
I don't know, maybe I just have to develop a "thicker skin", but with what has been discussed Sunday mornings and having similar things brought up to me at one other point this really just hit a nerve. Maybe I'm just too sensitive.